wakey wakey hands off snakey
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize