spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
