no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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