is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
My dick has a subreddit
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
