I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize