You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
