the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
