remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
