Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
