We're like a lot better than the average bears
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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