Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
