Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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