So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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