id be glad to
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
