ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I have post one night stand depression
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize