My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
