Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
