Well apparently he's into motor boating.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
3 2 1 whiskey
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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