just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
