apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
