Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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