I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize