shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
