Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
two words...techno handjob
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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