so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
