Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize