Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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