Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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