Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
