just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
