There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
