Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
