On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
