Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize