Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
