I'm drive I can fine osifer
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
