what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
