Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize