We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I need mimosas to revive my soul
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
