I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
the raccoons are back...
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