Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
