Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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