I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize