did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
