My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
