Define "chronic" masturbator.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
jump out the window naked night went bad
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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