its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
