I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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