actually, I'm a sock model
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Randomize
