real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i think i have herpe
just one?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
