I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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