there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
