dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
