I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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