i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
