If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm too high and old for this...
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