Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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