Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I think people are normalizing furries
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
