Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Randomize
