I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We are two peas in an std pod
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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