i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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