Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
